Military Veterans & The Destructive Power of Bitterness

“Anger and bitterness rob you of peace, not your enemy.” (Allene van Oirschot)

Bitterness among military veterans often emerges from a combination of factors: physical and psychological trauma, loss of comrades, the gap between their sacrifices and the recognition (or lack of it) they receive, and difficulties reintegrating into civilian life. The figure of the military veteran occupies a unique place in collective imagination: both revered as a symbol of sacrifice and resilience, yet often marginalised when the war ends and civilian society moves on. Veterans return home carrying the physical scars of battle, the invisible wounds of trauma, and memories of comrades lost in the chaos of war. Many face difficulties in reintegration, battling unemployment, stigma, and inadequate medical or psychological care. It is within this landscape that bitterness often emerges. The question, however, is not simply whether veterans feel bitterness, but whether such bitterness is justified and if so, to what extent? Bitterness can be described as a long-lasting state of anger, resentment, or cynicism arising from perceived injustice or betrayal. Unlike momentary anger, bitterness tends to persist, shaping worldviews and relationships. For veterans, bitterness may be directed toward governments, military institutions, or civilian populations who seem indifferent to their sacrifices. Psychologically, bitterness may arise from unprocessed grief, Military Sexual Trauma (MST), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and survivor’s guilt. Unlike sadness, which is often recognised and treated, bitterness is less socially acknowledged, making it particularly corrosive. Research suggests that long-term bitterness can be linked to mental health disorders, impaired social relationships, and chronic stress. The horrors of war leave deep impressions as does MST. Witnessing the death of comrades, killing under orders, or living through near-death experiences creates existential wounds. Veterans may return home to a society that cannot comprehend these experiences. The sense of isolation fuels resentment: civilians “will never understand.” Many veterans feel betrayed by governments that send them to war but fail to support them afterward. Insufficient pensions, poor healthcare, or bureaucratic neglect confirm the perception of abandonment. Historical examples abound, from MST veterans fighting for justice while facing hostility, to Afghan and Iraqi veterans struggling with the moral injury of wondering what their sacrifice and service actually achieved. Bitterness also stems from the gap between the high esteem in which military service is held in rhetoric and the often lukewarm support given. Appreciation, can feel hollow when accompanied by systemic neglect. A society has a moral duty to care for those who risked their lives on its behalf. When this duty is not fulfilled, bitterness is not only understandable but morally justified. Veterans’ resentment becomes a critique of collective failure. History offers many examples of justified bitterness. After World War I, many soldiers in Europe returned to shattered economies and broken promises of care. Their disillusionment contributed to political unrest and generational trauma. Today, even in countries with veteran support systems, many former soldiers face homelessness, unemployment, and untreated trauma. Such conditions render bitterness not only natural but reasonable. While bitterness may be justified, its long-term consequences can be problematic. Constructive bitterness fuels activism, advocacy for reform, and community building. Destructive bitterness, however, alienates veterans from society, hardens prejudice against civilians, and prevents healing. Bitterness, if left unchecked, risks becoming self-destructive. It may prevent veterans from seeking help, undermine family relationships, and trap individuals in cycles of resentment. From a psychological perspective, justification does not negate the harm it causes. There is a balance to be struck between acknowledging veterans’ justified grievances and encouraging pathways toward healing. While society must take responsibility, veterans also require tools to transform bitterness into resilience rather than despair. Psychological research suggests that bitterness can be mitigated through therapy, community support, and meaning-making practices. Programmes focusing on narrative therapy, peer support, and mindfulness help veterans reframe their experiences, reducing corrosive resentment. Veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan in Western countries often express bitterness at the futility of prolonged wars, especially when political goals remain unclear. Their grievances highlight the moral responsibility of governments to justify wars and provide post-service care. If wars are unjust or poorly justified, the bitterness of veterans becomes a moral indictment of political leaders. Soldiers are asked to risk their lives under the assumption of just cause; when this is betrayed, resentment is morally valid. From an existential lens, bitterness can be seen as part of the struggle to make sense of suffering. Veterans search for meaning in sacrifice. When society fails to provide recognition, the existential vacuum fuels resentment.Bitterness among military veterans is not only understandable but often justified by the traumatic realities of war and in service trauma (MST) and the failure of society to adequately care for them. It is a mirror reflecting both the personal cost of conflict and the collective responsibility of nations. Yet bitterness, if allowed to harden indefinitely, risks isolating veterans and hindering their path toward healing. The challenge is therefore twofold: society must honour its obligations to those who served, and veterans must be supported in transforming their resentment into resilience and advocacy. Only then can bitterness serve as a force for justice rather than a prison of the soul.

Tony Wright CEO Forward Assist